Am I saying true love is impossible? Far from it.
If you put two people together who are right for each other then love will blossom. It’s all about creating the best environment for love to grow between you.
So how do you do that?
In other words:
How Do You Keep Him In Love?
Here’s what to do.
I’m going to give you the 5 most important ways to not only grow love in a relationship, but keep it going strong through all obstacles.
Ready?
1. Make Sure You’re Compatible With Each Other
Mutual compatibility is the #1 most important factor in whether love will blossom, and whether a relationship will go the distance.
If you’re not compatible with each other, the relationship isn’t going to last. If you are compatible, things will work between you even when times are tough and things get hard.
So that begs the question: how do you find out whether you’re compatible with each other?
In order to do that, all you have to do is ask yourself a couple of simple questions, and answer them honestly.
If you’re not honest with yourself when you answer these questions then it’s not going to work. If you’re not sure, trust your initial gut reaction.
The first question is: is it easy to be around each other?
Great relationships aren’t meant to be hard, they’re meant to be easy. It should feel good to be around him – just like it should feel good for him to be around you.
If it feels good when you’re with each other and it’s easy to be with each other, then you’re compatible.
The second question is: do you fight all the time, or do you generally not fight?
All relationships have fights. It’s unavoidable when you put two people together and they have to compromise moving forward.
But the difference between a great relationship and one that’s not going to last is how you fight.
When you fight, do you tear each other down and attack each other, or do you get to the bottom of what you’re fighting about?
Great, compatible couples don’t try to hurt each other while they’re fighting – they try to resolve whatever they’re fighting about so that they can stop fighting.
Couples that aren’t compatible will get mean during fights – they’ll keep a fight going just to get the last word in or to “get the other person back” for something they said.
Compatible couples will always look to finish a fight quickly, and that’s what makes their relationships strong enough to go the distance.
Without compatibility, no relationship can last. The infatuation that you feel for each other at the beginning of the relationship will eventually fade, and you’ll wind up falling apart.
So the first step in finding love that lasts is to make sure you’re compatible.
2. Be Someone That He Can Confide In
In order for him to build a deep bond with you that lasts, he has to feel like he can tell you anything.
Even things that you might not want to hear.
The most important aspect to building that bond is making him feel safe when he tells you things. That means not judging him for telling you his truth about something, and it means no passive-aggressiveness or punishing him if he tells you something you don’t want to hear.
To clarify: I don’t mean that you can’t get upset at him if he says something insensitive or ugly to you. By all means, if he hurts your feelings or does something that upset you – tell him!
But the key word in that sentence is tell him. Don’t get upset at him and try to hurt him because he hurt you, and don’t tell him everything is ‘fine’ when really you’re seething inside.
Be honest with him, and give him the space to be honest with you.
People are only dishonest when they don’t feel comfortable telling someone the truth. If you show him that he can be comfortable telling you the truth even if it’s something you don’t want to hear, he’s going to be honest with you all the time.
When he feels totally safe telling you anything he needs to, it creates a deep bond between you that is very difficult to break. It’s one of the most important building blocks towards deep, abiding love that lasts.
3. Make Sure You’re Speaking The Same ‘Love Language’
Dr. Gary Chapman pioneered a way of thinking about communication in relationships that revolutionized the way that many people look at love.
I’m not going to go through everything he’s written about, but I will give you a summary: people show love and receive love differently. If he expects to receive love in a different way than you like to show it, then he might feel like he’s not receiving any love from you.
This is a fundamental understanding – because when you realize that people like to recognize and receive love in different ways, it can show you the root of problems you might have been having in your relationships.
The other key understanding is that people like to receive love in the same way that they like to show love.
That means that if he likes to show you love by giving you thoughtful gifts, he also likes to receive love by receiving thoughtful gifts.
If you try to show him love with kind words, it won’t be nearly as meaningful to him as it would be if you gave him a thoughtful gift – because you wouldn’t be speaking his love language.
So try to show him love the same way that he likes to show you love – and he will feel much more loved and appreciated by you. That will kindle and strengthen his love for you in turn.
4. Match His Level Of Commitment To You
Don’t Chase After His Love
Many, many women make the mistake of thinking that if they just act like they’re in a serious committed relationship with a guy, he’ll wake up and want to be in a serious committed relationship with them.
The truth is, this is actually the exact opposite of how it works, and ends in heartbreak almost every time.
Here’s how guys really work: he’s not going to feel inspired to ‘lock you down’ and fall deeply in love with you unless you inspire him.
The way to inspire him to do that isn’t to devote yourself to him and act as if you’re already in a committed relationship – it’s to show him you’re worth it… that you’re a catch that any man would be lucky to have, and that he has to ‘win’ you if he wants you.
So how do you do that? Simple: you match his commitment level in the relationship.
If he’s not committing himself to you, then you shouldn’t commit yourself to him. If you commit to him without a commitment from him, it shows him that he doesn’t have to try hard in order to have your love.
He doesn’t have to show you love, he doesn’t have to commit to you, he doesn’t have to put in the effort – you’re already committing and devoting yourself to him. You’re showing him that you’re going to be there for him no matter what kind of effort he puts in.
So by matching his level of commitment and only committing to him if he commits to you, you save your self-esteem and you force him to step up if he wants you.
If you want him to love you, the best way is for him to have a natural desire to step up and ‘win you’ that comes from within him.
So inspire him by not devoting yourself to him unless he’s explicitly ‘locked you down’ and devoted himself to you. By keeping your self-respect and your independence until he explicitly says he wants a serious committed relationship, you make him work harder to keep you and fall in love with you faster.
5. Have Your Own Fulfilling Life Outside The Relationship
One huge truth about good relationships is that they can’t be everything. They have to be a part of a happy life, not the entire thing.
You both need your own lives that you can enjoy even when you’re not together. Being so wrapped up in each other that you’re the only source for each other’s happiness is a recipe for codependence, drama, and a toxic relationship.
Make sure that you let him have his own life in the same way that you have your own life outside the relationship.
I like to say that a great relationship isn’t the cake – its’ the icing on top of the cake. Your outside life should be the cake, and the relationship is what puts the icing on top and makes everything even better.
Two people should already be happy and satisfied with their lives before they get into a relationship, so that they bring their happiness together and share it with each other. The relationship shouldn’t be your only source of happiness, if it is then that’s a recipe for disaster.
So make sure you live your life outside of him, and that he has the opportunity to live his life outside of you, so that the relationship has room to breathe and love continues to grow and flourish between you.
I hope this article gave you insight into how to keep a man in love with you forever. In case these steps aren’t enough and he’s still pulling away from you, then you need to know exactly what to do in that situation or you risk losing him forever, so pay attention because the next step is vitally important. If you are already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…
The other huge problem that will ruin relationships and leave you heartbroken and alone is this: Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…
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